Daily Telegraph Cryptic No 27810
Hints and tips by Kitty and Miffypops
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BD Rating – Difficulty * – Enjoyment ****
DON’T PANIC! We have a very gentle, very pleasant, very Rufus puzzle for your delectation.
Today is towel day, in honour of the late, great Douglas Adams.
So, grab your towel and enjoy this bank holiday, whether you are working, lazing or travelling across the galaxy.
If this post is a little late, that is entirely deliberate and in keeping with the day:
Miffypops knows one riddle and a rather rude joke with the word towel in.
Riddle. What is the most common owl in England?
The answer can be found after the review followed by the rather rude joke. Those of a nervous or prudish disposition need not read it.
Definitions are underlined in the clues. If you want to see the actual answer then press ‘click here!’ and all will be revealed. If you do not want to see the answer – do not click.
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1a Inscriptions not the happiest – yet they could be (8)
EPITAPHS: We begin with the end. A pleasing anagram of HAPPIEST, these inscriptions mark a passing. Invited to write his own on BBC Radio 4’s Quote… Unquote, Douglas Adams suggested: “He finally met his deadline.”
6a Unexpected opportunity (6)
CHANCE: A nice double definition. I feel I should be more helpful but there is not a lot more in this clue.
9a First-class returns operating, excellent! (4-2)
SPOT-ON: The reversal (returns) of a four-letter word for first-class or best followed by one meaning operating or working. Excellent or perfect.
10a Letter providing you with accommodation (8)
LANDLORD: The geezer who owns the property being let or rented.
11a Subsidiary parts of the Forestry Commission? (8)
BRANCHES: These tree parts are also departments or subdivisions of an organisation. I twigged this one right away.
12a Shrewdly canny about how old one is (6)
SAGELY: Place an adjective meaning surreptitiously (canny) around a noun meaning the length of time that a person has lived or a thing has existed.
13a An actor may take it when at a loss for words (6,6)
PROMPT ACTION: Cryptic definition of something an actor might receive having dried up. If this happened quickly it would provide an additional definition.
16a He loves Carol madly, but she won’t be in form much longer (6-6)
SCHOOL-LEAVER: A delightful anagram (madly) of HE LOVES CAROL.
19a Bottle opener needs to be purchased (6)
BOUGHT: The first letter (opener) of B(ottle) and a word (which I detest) expressing duty or obligation.
21a Some guys become attached to them (4-4)
TENT-PEGS: These guys are attached to a form of temporary accommodation favoured by outdoor types. The answer is what secures these guys to the ground.
23a Market in which you will see some strange animal (8)
MARMOSET: The animal is a monkey. A market in which is contained an anagram (strange) of SOME.
24a Like marquetry with fashionable styling of Dali (6)
INLAID: This description of marquetry can be found by putting an anagram (styling of) of DALI after our usual suspect for fashionable.
25a Occasion when spirits are called for (6)
SEANCE: No hard drinking necessary here. These spirits are of the ghostly kind.
26a Gems sent out in parcels (8)
SEGMENTS: Anagram (out) of GEMS SENT.
2d Press for identity documents? (6)
PAPERS: If you are solving on the back page (or inside back page) you have one of these in your hand. Nowadays you might be asked for your ID. In old films you would have been asked for these. I think it is both a double definition and a clever cryptic definition. I could be wrong.
3d Small bird and an enormous one (5)
TITAN: A little bird and the AN from the clue. Let’s have another quote by one.
4d New blow follows strike, leading to depression in the land (9)
PUNCHBOWL: This deep round hollow in a hilly area is found by simply doing as the clue asks you to do. Place an anagram (new) of BLOW after (follows) after a word meaning strike (as a boxer might strike his opponent). This strike could also be a blow which I think opens up some clever clueing opportunities for this word.
5d Disposes of everything, gets a higher price (5,2)
SELLS UP: to exchange all one’s goods for money, or some of them for more than bought for.
6d Figures it’s only one among 100s (5)
CONES: Place the word ONE directly from the clue inside the Roman numeral for one hundred pluralised as in hundreds.
7d Reptile perturbs a girl a lot (9)
ALLIGATOR: Anagram (perturbs) of A GIRL A LOT.
8d Fifty joining in in carol with shaking bells (8)
CARILLON: Anagram of CAROL IN with the Roman numeral for fifty. If you are visiting Bruges one of these rings out for a couple of hours on a Wednesday Saturday and Sunday. Book a ticket to watch the concert and be right next to the bells in the market square tower.
13d Share pusher (9)
PLOUGHMAN: The share we are after is part of an agricultural implement for turning the soil.
14d Lending is increasing (9)
ADVANCING: Double definition – there is not much more I can add.
15d Tapping cacao led to blend (8)
ACCOLADE: Anagram (to blend) of CACAO LED. The answer is the tapping action used in conferring a knighthood: a tap on each shoulder with the flat of a sword.
17d Lands in eastern America (7)
ESTATES: E(astern) followed by what America is comprised of. The S in USA.
18d He doesn’t think much of others (6)
EGOIST: …rather, he thinks quite a lot of himself.
20d One of five that’s unaccountable (5)
TASTE: We have five senses, one of which there is no accounting for. Take the group Queen for example. I can only bang my head against a wall and ask Why? Why? Why? BoRap? BoCrap. (I beg to differ on that one, I’m afraid – Kitty.)
22d Vegetables that a sister will take (5)
PULSE: The sister is a nurse. The vegetables are the edible seeds of leguminous plants. Google and Oxford agree with my thoughts that the answer is singular, but Chambers says it can also be a plural noun.
What is the most common owl in England? The Teat Owl.
Rather Rude Joke
Bert’s wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married. The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex and a cool breeze may help. Being a bit tight, he decides not to buy a fan , but asks his friend to waft a towel over them during the act. After half an hour still no sign of success so his mate suggests swapping places. ‘I’ll have a try Bert, you waft the towel’. Bert agrees, and after two or three minutes Bert’s wife has the most intense orgasm ever known. Bert turns to his mate smugly and says —– ‘And that old mate is how you waft a bloody towel’
The Quick Crossword pun: blazer+weigh=blaze away