Toughie 579

Toughie No 579 by MynoT

Blue is the Colour

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BD Rating – Difficulty *** – Enjoyment ****

MynoT’s puzzles often follow a theme. Currently he is working his way through the colours of the rainbow and this week it’s the turn of blue. I have highlighted, in blue of course, as many of the clues and answers that are in some way linked to the theme as I can.

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Across

1a    Arrest and book holy man to appear in criminal court (8)
{OBSTRUCT} – a word meaning to arrest or impede is created by putting B(ook) and the usual holy man inside an anagram (criminal) of COURT

5a    If blue this cannot be finally seen, but it can be seen if it has extremes of colour (6)
{SCREEN} – the blue version of this is a technique, used in in film and television, where material shot later is superimposed on a blue-coloured background – put SEEN around the outside letters (extremes) of ColouR

9a    Square one is in under ‘blue’ (8)
{SQUANDER} – start with SQ(uare) and then put A (one) inside UNDER to get a verb meaning to blue or waste

10a    In the morning father gets measurement of current (6)
{AMPERE} – a charade of Ante Meridiem (before noon / in the morning) and a French word for father that has been adopted into English gives a measurement of electric current

12a    Key gets this body of journalists into act (9)
{DEPRESSED} – what was done to a key on the computer keyboard to activate it is created by putting a body of journalists inside an act

13a    Magnificent couple of boys (5)
{ROYAL} – a word meaning magnificent is a charade of two boy’s names

14a    One’s twice in the Blue Boat? Not quite (4)
{ISIS} – repeat I’S (one’s) to get the reserve Oxford boat race crew, named after the Oxford stretch of the River Thames

16a    Objects about organ and arouses affection (7)
{ENDEARS} – put these objects or aims around the organ used for hearing to get a verb meaning arouses affection

19a    Landing area excellent on both sides (7)
{AIRPORT} – this landing area for planes is a charade of excellent (2), R(ight) and the nautical term for left

21a    Those people’s song lacks an intro (4)
{THEM} – to get a pronoun meaning those people, drop AN from the start of a song that provokes a powerful response from an audience

ARVE Error: need id and provider

24a    Type of publicity in Telegraph initially (5)
{PRINT} – this type or lettering is a charade of publicity (2), IN and T (Telegraph, initially)

25a    Get round physical training in open (9)
{RECEPTIVE} – put a word meaning to get or acquire around Physical Training and the result is a word meaning open or amenable

27a    Small and cosy eventually (6)
{INTIME} – split this word meaning small and cosy as (2,4) to get a word meaning eventually

28a    Innards of Arctic bear cured of micro-organisms (8)
{BACTERIC} – an anagram (cured) of the inside letters (innards) of (A)RCTIC BEA(R) gives an adjective meaning of micro-organisms

29a    German city’s Eastern ascetic (6)
{ESSENE} – a charade of a German industrial city in the Ruhr valley and E(astern) gives a Jewish ascetic

30a    Flower where atmosphere’s black (in the underworld) (8)
{HAIRBELL} – an alternative spelling of this plant with a hanging blue bell-shaped flower is created by putting a word meaning atmosphere (3) and B(lack) inside the underworld

Down

1d    Joke about Sidney being able to score (6)
{ONSIDE} – put a joke, as in “have you heard the … about the farmer and the spaceship?”, around the affectionate form of Sidney – see below for the joke, which is the one mentioned in the New Oxford American Dictionary

2d    They may be stirred but not shaken or drawn but not quartered (6)
{STUMPS} – a double definition – to stir these means to move or become active and, on the cricket field , they may be drawn but not quartered

3d    Wash out revolt in North? On the contrary (5)
{RINSE} – to get a verb meaning to wash out, instead of putting a verb meaning to revolt inside N(orth) do the contrary

4d    Big ones are usually high in rank — or even high and rank (7)
{CHEESES} – precede this word with big to get people high in rank – when blue they can become high and rank!

6d    It projects game in university (9)
{CAMBRIDGE} – a charade of an irregular projection on a revolving shaft and a card game gives a light-blue university

7d    All the team play once (8)
{EVERYMAN} – when split (3,5) this can mean all the team – it’s also a late 15th-century English morality play

8d    To provoke saints is unnecessary (8)
{NEEDLESS} – a word meaning to provoke is followed by two single-letter abbreviations for S(aint) to get a word meaning unnecessary

11d    Old blade makes further remarks to be heard (4)
{ADZE} – this old cutting tool with an arched blade which is set at right angles to the handle sounds like (to be heard) a verb meaning makes further remarks

15d    Fair player has drink on board with Jeeves, for example (9)
{SPORTSMAN} – someone who shows fairness when playing is created by putting a fortified wine inside Crosswordland’s usual ship (on board) and then adding a name for a valet (Jeeves, for example)

17d    Stone apparently found in county (8)
{SAPPHIRE} – this brilliant precious variety of corundum, generally of a beautiful blue, is drrived by putting APP(arently) inside a name for a rural county

18d    Painting is put up for performers (8)
{ARTISTES} – a charade of painting, as a creative skill, IS and a synonym for put, the latter being reversed (up, as this is a down clue) gives these professional entertainers

20d    The past not his traditional point of view (4)
{TORY} – take a word meaning the past and drop HIS to get a traditional point of view which supports the established religious and political order

21d    Fantasy often preceding flight? (7)
{TOCCATA} – a double definition – a musical fantasy or a musical work often performed before breaking into a fugue

22d    Violent fire damaged church (6)
{FIERCE} – a word meaning violent is created from an anagram (damaged) of FIRE followed by the Church of England

23d    Make provisional note of nice broadcast in Poland (6)
{PENCIL} – a verb meaning to make a provisional note is derived by putting an anagram (broadcast) of NICE inside the IVR code for Poland

26d    Safe flag (5)
{PETER} – a double definition – criminal jargon for a safe and a verb meaning to flag

Indigo next? It will be interesting to see what MynoT makes of it.

The Farmer and the Spaceship

Farmer Brown and his wife were working in the field one day about dusk. As they were heading back to the house they saw a bunch of strange lights way out in the field. Upon arriving Farmer Brown and his wife saw a spaceship landing. They were approached by two aliens. The aliens said they were researching human sex life and wanted to know if they could partner switch. After talking it over Farmer Brown and his wife agreed. The next morning the aliens left.

Farmer Brown was dying to ask his wife what happened. Finally he couldn’t stand it anymore and broke down and asked her. Well what happened? She replied, It was the best sex I ever had! Why? asked Farmer Brown. Well when he took off his pants it wasn’t but an inch long and as big around as my pinky, but then he reached up and turned his left ear and it grew as to 16 inches, then he turned his right ear and it got as big around as a sausage.

Farmer Brown said, well shit; no wonder that bitch was trying to rip my ears off!!